Drunk on a ladder. Round 5.

Sorry for the gap again, thanks for the other Dick for filling a yawning void...
Here's the ladder. I'm going home now to watch the Dees LIVE on FREE-TO-AIR!!! That just never happens, neither part of the equation. I'm gonna live it up; whiskey, slippers, pipe, roaring fire and wet dog.
Jesper's still out front, but really, he does this regularly, so don't fret everyone... I'm still shizen...

Tigers

Well with Dick on paternity leave I thought I'd better step up to the plate. Firstly why aren't the Saints playing the Demons on Good Friday? Perfect opportunity to have a crucifixion as the pre match entertainment. Can you imagine St Nick nailing the drunken Dee Maloney to the cross (Maloney honorary member of Punchdrunk and more on him later).  And if it's good enough for them to play the other game in Rome on this most holy of days why not at the other cathedral - the MCG?

Easy answer of course - it's because Hitler, I mean Stalin, I mean Idi Amin, I mean Colonel Gadaffi (although he might melt), I mean George Speight (very bad example), I mean Saddam, NO I REALLY MEAN DEMETRIOU down at the Awful Football League doesn't want it.


When is the UN going to realise that we want rid of this dictator? They could organise an attack on his Jolimont compound or just do what Mossad did - find, drug, blind fold, offer 2 choices, and fly him to Nuremberg for trial, which is very efficient. They could also come to a deal with him and find a country of refuge to take him (watch out for the 747 full of gold flying out with his Mrs the day before though).

Enough of that drivel though.

Now I'm a Tiger and I'm celebrating a rare victory this weekend even though it was only over the shin boners. My father in law and brother in law are shin boners and I have copped a lot of texts etc about the man boy with neck tatts free kick in the last minutes. I've told them with all due respect (which means none) to go and get absolutely stuffed. The poor shiiiiiiin bonerrrrrs being ripped off again. The world owes the shiiiiin bonerrrrrrs something according to them. Get a life and go to the games I say. There was more Tigers at Etihad for their home game than Roos.

It also goes in swing and round abouts - look at the kick against McGuane in the Tigers/Saints game which even the Awful Football League in a rare moment of honesty said was incorrect. At any rate the there was no guarantee that the shiiiiiiiin bonerrrrrrs would have won if that kick hadn't been paid, and the same goes for the Tigers against the saints.


Don't their supporters know that they're going broke? Evidently they don't because only about 3 supporters turn up. Junior Eddie (Jaaayyy Beeeee) and his board have filled the joint full of debt with just about no way of paying it back if they don't turn up - that is of course without moving to Ballerat, Hobart, Tiwi Islands, Tripoli or anywhere that'll take them.

Anyway the Tiges had a win and now inevitably are talking finals. Talk about getting ahead of themselves. They've beaten 1 team and they're currently bottom of the ladder. Hard to not get excited by Martin, Cotchin, Delidio, Reiewoldt et al though.

The other games played so far this weekend:-

Saints v Brisbane - boring
Purple Haze v Bulldogs - bulldogs are flat track bullies
Gold Coast v Power - Power are pathetic and the shiiiiin boneeeeers will notch up their first win next weekend.
Pies v Bombers - I, as a good Tiger abhor both these teams, but hard to see any other team beating the pies. Bombers have been good but compared to last year they're not far higher up the ladder so it remains to be seen.

One last word on Maloney. He might not be welcome in the leadership group at the Dees but he's welcome at Punchdrunk as far as I'm concerned. After all, all he did was get blind, piss on a bar and get asked to leave a pub. That's practically all my friends.

Also congrats to Dick and Sharee on new Dee in the world Arlo, and congrats to Megan & I on the new Tiger Howard.

Now really enough of that drivel.


Hopefully I haven't offended too many majorities, minorities, shiiiiin boneeeeeer

Bring back El Nino...

Apologies for little-noticed absence last week, we're back on air and bouncing around like Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls.

I don't know about you guys, but this tipping thing's just not working out for me. I'm just not meant to be sitting one of the bottom of the ladder. I blame El Nino's little sister La Nina, or is it his wife? Or is that White Stripes? What the fuck am I talking about?

I could go on about missing all the close ones, but it won't do anyone any good. Let's just forget the first 3 rounds never happened and start from here.

Apologies for the silence especially to Jesper, who pulled an 8 out of his Corn Flakes pack in round 2, Good news for him is he wins the jackpot. Good news for the rest of us is it's only $20.
Jesper is still sitting out in front however, and looking like his code change is going a helluva lot better than Issy Folau's.

Remember if you can't really see this, just click on it and sit back quick.

I'm still watching, waiting and hoping for a chop-out with some posts from fellow drunks. Alright the Saints are shit, but for god sake tell us about it. I'd tell you about the Dees games I've seen, but I'm not a sympathy-seeker.

League of Drunks

Still coming to grips with this bye thingy. I find I've asked 6 of my highest scorers to take time out on the pine sitting in their official Champanzee bag'o'fruit and tie.
Anyway... didn't quite get around to posting last week, so here's 2 weeks of value right here...

Round 2:
Dr Demonski looking the goods sitting alongside two other new-comers Lobby 'Logger' Lloyd and the Mongrels.
Right on their heels, and also undefeated, the local champs from the past 2 years The Cheesies and the Chimps.


Round 3:
The good Dr's dropped one against the stinky Cheeses. Logger and the Mongrels still lead the way however.

Drunk on a ladder - Round 1

And we're off.
35 Drunks took up their spots to commence the tussle for the world's most sought-after sporting trophy. The PunchDrunk Chalice. The Cup of Dreams. Ye Aulde Mugge.

This year we've got 2, count them two, brand new Drunk challengers... the already slightly introduced Andy "Logger" Lloyd, and also the as yet un-introduced, but statuesque Garth Oriander. Welcome chaps, but don't expect to get things your own way. There is a long list of Drunks who have been trying for decades to get their name scratched into the cup's mottled silver-plate surface, not to mention a shorter list who have been there before, but want more.

A quick scan of the talent following an opening round of close encounters shows, the possibly very aptly named, Leah Champion sitting out in front with a 7, just a nasal hair to the good of that Danish bloke who's very rapidly trading his love of the round ball for a deserved fascination with our beautifully out of whack elliptical kangaroo-skin.

Last year's champion, Franco, is sitting second last and the new boys 11th and 12th. If you click on the table above it'll get real big so you can actually read it.

DreamTeam

The supplementary, but incredibly, massively important League of Drunks DreamTeam league is for the first time full to the gills with domestic teams. No strangers, no highly paid celeb coaches who end up walking off with the prize, like that handsome mate of yours who keeps pinching your best girlfriends.
All are Drunks, with the exception of two Drunk invitees, Ben and Mark, who sit beside me every week while I rant and spit chips at the yellow maggots from my leather upholstered seat in The Members.
Early days yet, Kurtz' NSW's have taken an opportunistic lead, but the perennial great form of Jim Richo's boys from Cheesetown looks to be holding up, with Mark just pipping his score.

Welcome fellow Drunks to another season of pure Drunkness.

As I've said elsewhere, this years Drunk looks like being a tad leaner and meaner than previous years.
For one thing, my input will be reduced a little under a new father/son rule. This is a good thing for all of us. I've been assured of editorial comment from other Drunks, which I'm really looking forward to.
There'll be no Celebrity Head this year, in its place I've settled on a masthead featuring what has to be the best footy shot ever. Smokin' Robbie McGee. The classic shot by Renie Ellis, used totally without permission, but at least with this acknowledgment.

Stripped back a little also in terms of number of Drunks this year.
33 Drunks have come through the turnstiles this year, down, I think, from 39 last year.
One new chap this year, welcome Andy 'Logger' Lloyd, who's already provided safe haven for a few slow Drunks who failed to make the cut in the League of Drunks DreamTeam league, in his league.

The first game is down, we have about 180-odd to go. If we take them one game at a time we'll be here all year, and that's good enough for me.